Ah, the summertime of youth, when we were free to frolic about in the summer sun without a care in the world. I sure miss those days. I miss the guilt-free ice cream. I miss running around the pool in bare feet, ignoring all my parents’ warnings about slipping and falling. I miss the weird older lady who liked to float around on a giant inflatable penis while sipping cocktails. Classic childhood memories.

What? You mean your local swimming pool didn’t have a weird older lady who floated around on a penis-shaped pool floatie? Well, I feel bad for you, my friend. You really missed out on a quintessential childhood experience. Fortunately, now you have the opportunity to ensure that none of the kids in your neighborhood have to suffer the same deficiency that you did. Now you can be that weird older lady, with this Penis pool float.

Disclaimer: We do not actually encourage you to float around on a penis pool float in your own neighborhood with nearby kids. They probably will not look fondly on those memories, and their parents probably will call the cops on you for harassment. Instead, we recommend bringing the Pecker Pool Float to a bachelorette party. The guests there will appreciate it a lot more than any snot-nosed neighborhood kids could. Whether it’s a summertime bachelorette pool party or beach party, or you want it to be extra-surprising by bringing it to a regular party in the middle of winter, the Pecker Pool Float is sure to be a smash hit.

Measures 72” / 168cm long when inflated. Made of phthalate-free plastic.